Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has been around for as long as there has been trauma, which has been around for as long as there have been humans. We just did not call it that until recently. According to the Mayo Clinic PTSD is “a mental health condition that is triggered by a terrifying event – either experiencing it or witnessing it.”
This weekend we honor the fallen. This is appropriate and necessary, and Americans do it well. But there are many among us who are the half-fallen, the walking wounded. Those who have served and returned with wounds so deep they cannot be seen; they can only be carried.
This nation has been at some kind of war for most of a generation. That takes a toll. We are surrounded by vets who may not have died on the battlefield, but they had to watch their friends die; sometimes while standing right next to them. Or they have had to see and do things about which they can never speak. Even if they were allowed to speak of it, they are unable to articulate their memories and feelings. They have seen and experienced death in the most violent and traumatic ways imaginable. And then they had to come home.
They may sleep too much, or not at all. They may have nightmares. They often feel angry and irritable, and they do not know why. They may withdraw because they do not wish to be around people. They are not antisocial, they just find the task of being “on” for others – the performance of normal, all too exhausting. They may struggle with depression, and they do not want to inflict their mood on others; nor do they have the energy to pretend.
These warriors are at greater risk of substance abuse and suicide. In 2018, the suicide rate among veterans 18-34 years old was almost three times higher than non-veterans of the same age bracket. Sometimes the memories in their heads are shouting all at once, sometimes they are dead silent, empty, and numb. This is PTSD. Most vets are fine, and the ones that are hurting are struggling in a dozen ways, like you, but more so. There is no reason to fear them.
I spoke with a veteran’s legal advocate this weekend. He informed me that the DoD has a habit of “misdiagnosing” troops with PTSD. They tell them they have “personality disorder” and kick them to the curb. That way they can avoid a medical discharge and save the government the money owed for wages and health care benefits. The warrior is then forced to walk the earth applying for jobs with the words “personality disorder” on their record. We cannot allow our government to send our sons and daughters into the heart of darkness only to refuse to pay for the care they need when the darkness returns to haunt them.
For all you struggling vets out there, thank you for your service. I see you. We know you are among us, and we care about you. I know something of what you carry, though many of you have had it much worse. Your young hearts have been punched far too hard and often for any normal life. Thank you for carrying it; for showing up every day; for loving your family as best you can.
Take care of yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t hurt you. Get whatever exercise you can. Don’t become a couch-potato, keep moving. If you need help, get it. There are people around you who love you.
Do not feel guilty for having lived, you are meant to be alive today. We need you. Your future is bright, and peace belongs to you. We owe you that much.
“He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.”